novelnext Mayuri’s hatred
Mayuri’s hatred
The sky was bleeding out, and I could only watch.(¡¡¡SHRRRRRR-VROOOOM-KRRRR-SHHHHH!!!)
A dull, constant vibration coursed through my teeth—a hum born not from the air, but from the pure violence unleashing itself up above.
"...."
From within a crimson hemisphere of light that flickered like a diseased heart, the outside world looked like an abstract painting made of fire and ash.
(—— KHIIIIIII-BOOMMM... ¡ZHYYYYYYYY! ——)
Every time the blazing plasma collided with that endless tide of rusted sapphire vines, the impact distorted reality, creating shockwaves that made the remnants of the earth's crust groan.
"A-Ah... h-aaa..."
And contemplating it all in utter helplessness was me, letting an involuntary groan slip from my lips—a biological reaction that my body, hyper-sensitized and broken by months of humiliation, could no longer control.
(Why... why am I still here?)
My fingers, filthy and stripped of the familiar touch of my S-rank staff, dug with desperation into the thick mud of what used to be an alleyway.
(Why does that woman keep me intact in the middle of this hell...?)
The cold mud seeped through the tears of my silk robe, but instead of cold, my brain processed a confusing wave of artificial endorphins and a mechanical submission branded into my very being.
(¡¡GWA-RHAAMMM... FHOOOOOOOOM!! — —)
But despite my state, the explosions in the firmament did not cease; instead, they grew denser.
(... I don't... understand why you are doing this to me...)
It was the end of the world. The end of everything.
"Is this my punishment... Isn't it...?"
I looked at my stained hands.
"... Forgive me."
My eyes, fixed on the crimson glow of the barrier, began to blur with tears and static.
"... I'm sorry... Forgive me... Raina..."
The pressure in my mind was unbearable, but amidst the roar of the apocalypse and the mechanical chiming of the Options that still echoed in my head, a strange lucidity hit me.
(How did we get to all this...?)
And in a sick need to search for an answer among the ruins of my sanity.
(Since it has already been decided... there is nothing else that can be done, right?)
... I remembered those words, returning to the past of my memories.
"—... Is she changing jobs?"
Back then, on one of the desktop screens, a woman with long, black hair could be seen, dressed in the vestments of a priestess.
"—Yes. When I asked her why, she only told me, 'I've already found a new job'..."
Normally, I didn't look at her face when we spoke over the phone, but at that moment, I couldn't help but steal a glance due to the unexpected news about my friend.
"—Speaking of Raina, she was a bit selfish at times, but she was a girl with the soul of a superhero who threw herself body and soul into everything, right? I can't believe she suddenly ruined it all..."
That day, she narrowed her eyes even further with a worried expression, brought her hand to her cheek, and sighed.
"That's impossible!"
Thinking back now, it was only when I saw her sighing again while saying those words that I exploded in denial.
"Raina would never lose. She is a 'winner'."
Raina was a mutual friend. She had a bright and confident personality—something that I, as a melancholic person, found a bit difficult to handle, but despite that, we had managed to get along well.
... Or so I thought back then.
However, at that moment, without my knowledge, Raina had undergone a tremendous transformation during the time we had been out of touch. Back then, rumors said she suddenly started wearing provocative clothes and discarded her money and valuable possessions, and even how, ultimately, she abandoned her prestigious job and became a prostitute, having cheap sex with anyone.
All those rumors seemed unbelievable to me; I even thought at the time that it was just slander born of jealousy or envy. After all, Raina was a proud woman, obsessed with raising her status, and she looked down on most men.
"—I am truly shocked... I can't believe our strongest girl has fallen for just some random guy."
My friend from back then, Mila, who hates men and loves women, complained about how disappointing the whole situation was, but I didn't pay any attention to her at the time.
"—I had planned for her to be mine someday."
So, ignoring her back then, I remembered the "options" that Raina had mentioned once before.
Back then, that was like an urban legend known only to a few. It was said that, apparently, a window with options would appear out of nowhere in the field of vision of certain people, and their actions were determined by the option that was chosen.
"—Hey, Mayuri, be careful, okay? I don't want you to start shaking your hips for men too."
Sometimes the choice was made automatically, but the person in question would accept it without much complaint, thinking, "Well, it's already decided, so there is nothing I can do about it," no matter how terrible the chosen option was.
"—... It's fine. I have made up my mind to find Raina to get answers and, perhaps, try to help her."
With that promise, I hung up the phone, cutting off Mila's complaints. At that moment, the idea of the "Options" was nothing more than an uncomfortable murmur in my mind, like a horror story that happened to others.
"Hey... Did you see the 'Invincible' one today?"
That is why, with that idea in mind, I left my apartment armed with my S-rank pride, my elite staff, and my valuable dragon-skin boots, convinced that I was immune to any anomaly.
"She was near the slave market. She was wearing less clothes than a brothel dancer and said she was 'fine' because she had already made a decision."
Thus, I walked down the main avenue of the lower district, trying to ignore the loud laughter of some C-rank users leaving a bar, mocking how our leader had supposedly turned into a broken toy.
"Ha! Who would have thought...?"
I gritted my teeth tightly.
"All that valuable equipment just to end up selling herself for a few copper coins. The world takes many turns."
They are just idiots who know nothing, I kept telling myself.
"Well, well, if it isn't the great Mayuri."
But it was as I turned the corner that I bumped into Kael, that disgusting guild informant.
"Don't bother looking for your boss; that woman isn't Raina anymore."
His sarcastic smile turned my stomach when he dropped that free piece of advice on me.
"Yesterday, I saw her giving away her spider-silk cloak to a beggar..."
... I couldn't stand hearing any more of the things I didn't want to hear.
"Shut up, Kael!"
That is why I yelled at him to shut up, defending that Raina would never lose like that and that she must have a plan.
(¡¡¡Zzzzzzt!!!)
But as I stepped into the shadows of the alleyway Kael had pointed out with a mocking gesture, the air in front of my face vibrated with a mechanical hum that froze my blood.
[Enter the alleyway to rescue your friend]
Two black rectangles, sharp and floating, sprouted out of nowhere, blocking my path.
[Enter the alleyway to mock the fall of that pathetic woman]
My eyes snapped wide open as I read the text in the air.
"What is this...?"
The urban legend that Mila and I considered an absurd myth was no longer just an internet rumor.
"Mock her? Mock Raina?"
And at that exact instant, my pride crumbled away.
"Well... it has already been decided, so there is nothing I can do about it..."
From then on, that cursed phrase became the pillar that held me up while I knelt in the mud, surrendering my dignity to the men of the lower district, turning myself into a public, broken attraction in the very same alleyway where I used to walk with superiority, marking the beginning of my nightmare.
(¡¡¡VROOOOOM-SHHHHH!!!)
However, at that point, the blast of a shockwave snapped me back to reality for a fleeting instant.
"¡¿?!"
As I looked up toward the sky, I watched as a meteor shower collided against a web of thorns while the firmament crumbled to pieces.
(¡¡¡SHRRRRRR-VROOOOM-KRRRR-SHHHHH!!!)
The landscape was so terrifying, so monstrous, that my body began to tremble uncontrollably.
(No... I don't want to watch this... please...)
... The pain of the present was too real, too oppressive for my mind... Therefore... Once again, I allowed my consciousness to submerge itself back into the abyss of my memories, returning to the days that followed my fall...
The morning after the events in the alleyway, I returned home and lay down on my bed, desperately seeking comfort in sleep. I slept heavily, trying to erase everything, until 11:10 AM. It was at that moment that I got out of bed to get dressed, but I froze instantly upon seeing a futuristic object, resembling a dashboard with a black border, floating directly in front of me.
"It wasn't a dream..."
It was exactly like the selection window of a video game. Floating in the air of my room, it displayed two clear alternatives:
【Do not wear underwear for today】
【Never wear underwear ever again in life】
That morning, I stared at the contents of both windows for a long time, feeling the suffocating weight of the options upon my shoulders.
If I chose "Do not wear underwear today," it would only be a matter of going without a bra or panties for a single day. But on the other hand, if I chose "forever," I would have to live the rest of my life unprotected, exposed without underwear.
"... Alright."
At that point, no matter how long I waited, unlike the last time in the alleyway, neither option was selected automatically. Because of that, I came to the conclusion that, just as Mila had mentioned to me in the rumor, it was likely that this time they were granting me freedom of choice.
☆【Do not wear underwear for today】
Thus, with that in mind to test it, I picked the less desperate alternative between both options, reaching out my hand and choosing to press: "Do not wear underwear today."
In that way, I instinctively understood that I would not wear underwear that day, as if it were an absolute certainty that my mind could not fully grasp. Therefore, immediately after, I took off the pajamas I had finally put on upon reaching the safety of my home, stripping away my underwear and leaving myself completely naked in my empty room.
"... Since it has already been decided, it cannot be helped."
But despite that, I couldn't stay like that forever, so I opened the wardrobe to choose what to wear; and even though underwear was already ruled out of my mind, the system window appeared once again, floating in front of the wood.
【A blouse with all the buttons unbuttoned】
【A semi-transparent blouse】
Around that time, I was surprised by how, after the brutal events in the alleyway, the choices had shifted from being extremely extreme to more subtle selections; small nudges that voluntarily led me to dig my own grave through the deception of the "lesser evil."
"..."
And that day, as I examined the back of the wardrobe more closely, I saw two blouses hanging on hangers that I did not remember buying or putting there. Therefore, that led me to formulate a disturbing hypothesis: those options, somehow, possessed the power to alter physical reality on a smaller scale to force compliance with the choices.
"... It feels really fresh... and with a tickle."
That being how, in the end, I dressed myself in the semi-transparent blouse, with my skin exposed directly to the fabric.
But as the day went on, my suspicions turned into absolute certainty when, among the new windows that continued to stalk me and show options like "Do not wear a skirt" or "Wear a super short miniskirt 20 cm above the knee," after choosing the second option, a garment with the exact size and design described materialized out of nowhere directly in my hands.
(¡¡¡SHRRRRRR-VROOOOM!!!)
Then, at that moment, the explosive sounds from the outside echoed louder and louder inside the dome, blending with the memories of my own degradation in the past.
☆【Walk with your gaze lowered and ignore the catcalls】
At first, the requests seemed ridiculous, suspiciously almost harmless compared to the initial choices.
☆【Stare at the man from the alleyway and flash him your crotch】
But once I agreed to step out onto the main avenue in that semi-transparent blouse and twenty-centimeter skirt, the windows became more aggressive, feeding on the lecherous stares of the passersby.
(... W-why... Why... didn't I resist...?)
The "lesser evil" of today was the trigger for the horror of tomorrow, and weeks blurred past in a continuous haze.
"Because it had already been decided...?"
To the rest of the world, perhaps it was only a couple of months; but for me, trapped in that distortion of constant choices, it felt like years of a meticulous, slow erosion.
"... Don't screw with me."
I began to dress in provocative lace out of sheer inertia, swaying my hips suggestively in front of the guild adventurers, ruining my S-rank reputation until nobody remembered the proud mage I used to be.
"... Don't screw with me... Don't play games with me!"
They only saw a public toy.
"Why did I have to go through that?!"
A violent spasm coursed down my spine, so intense that it forced me to arch my back and dig my fingernails deep into my skin.
(¡¡¡CRRR-CRRR-CRRRK!!!)
As I tore at myself, a violent, cold, and heartbreaking epiphany exploded in the depths of my consciousness.
(Decided by whom? Why did I accept it? Why did I crawl...?)
I saw the humiliation, I saw the men mocking me in the alleyway, I saw my own cowardice disguised as resignation.
"¡¡Ugh... AAAAHHHH...!!"
... Hate... I hate it... Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate!
"¡¡I HATE IT!!"
... And for the first time in months, I felt like myself as a murderous, rightful fury toward everything in this world consumed me.